Mudita always hated the term "when the time comes."
She had first heard this term when she was around five.
"Stop giving her good food and good clothes," her grandmother had instructed her parents. "In fact, stop indulging her in any way."
Her mother tried to protest, but was silenced with a glare.
"The girl should not get used to such things," the grandmother continued. "The time has come to send her to the monastery, as it is destined for her."
"What is a monastery?" Mudita asked her elder sister. "Are we all going?"
"No, silly, only you," replied her sister, three years older. "You are the one who is going to become a monk."
"Why me?" Mudita didn't understand. "No! I don't want to become a monk!"
She cried at the thought. Monks, with their bald heads and stern faces, always scared her.
"Our parents wanted a son, but you were born," the elder sister explained. "So they promised that if they were blessed with a son next, they would make their youngest daughter a monk. And then, our younger brother was born."
"But what if I don't want to be a monk," Mudita was persistent.
"It is not your choice!" her sister was getting annoyed. "You are promised to god. He will punish us all if we don't keep the promise."
"Can I take Bholu with me?" Mudita relented, hoping at least that she could take her dog with her.
Soon, Mudita was packed off to the monastery in Vakshi, all alone. She lost everything that was dear to her. At the monastery, as a part of her initiation, her beautiful hair were pulled out. She was then cleansed with holy water, and was handed robes made of jute. As an ascetic, she was denied anything that even remotely gave pleasure -- all she was allowed to do was to read ajabuhi scriptures, sleep on the ground, and cook and eat once a day.
She started questioning, how was this fair? At first she was angry, then as time passed she felt helpless. Several times she thought of killing herself, but finally accepted her life -- not because she liked it, but because there was no other way. By the time she finished her initiation, she was not even sure if god existed. She never experienced the spiritual calm that was promised to her all along, all she was left with was the bland drudgery of everyday life.
This changed when the teenaged prince, Abhik, came to the monastery to be tutored by the monks. He took a liking for her, and his headstrong nature gave her a break from her subdued existence. They studied the scriptures together, and roamed in the wilderness. He had a little dog, too, which reminded her of her dog back home.
The powers at the monastery did not approve of the bond between Prince Abhik and Mudita. However, Prince Abhik did not pay any heed, and he took her to Trishala. However, her years of self-denial meant that they spent time together, but never married. She was a prisoner of traditions, and Abhik was helping her break free.
Their roles were now reversed. Abhik was the prisoner and she needed to help him break free.
No comments:
Post a Comment